I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
