We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Randomize
