just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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