we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
