can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize