I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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