All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize