well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
