toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
