Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize