So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Dick very happy bro
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
