she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize