when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Randomize
