I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize