I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
honey bunches of taint.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
