...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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