We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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