I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize