THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize