I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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