I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
