Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
