I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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