if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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