Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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