did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
