even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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