Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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