she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
