Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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