Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
