ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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