We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
