Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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