my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
