2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
