I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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