I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
