saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
