apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she pinky promised me she was 18
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
