i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize