Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
