hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You had me at "let me see your balls"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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