worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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