just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
