We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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