Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
