ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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