I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
