Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize