K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
