The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
