we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
