my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
