Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
