Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize