Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
be right there i have to get my cape
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
