I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
