Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
