Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Hippo gnu deer
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
