I feel great
I just peed on a car
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
