I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
