All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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