you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
