We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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