What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
