It's just like the Real World with babies
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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