Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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