just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize