I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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