please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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