i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
