Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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