Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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