Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
