The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
