If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
