Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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