Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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